symon

Hi. It’s me. Symon.

I’m a 10-month-old, 10-pound Chihuahua, and apparently I am currently accepting applications for my third adoptive home. ‍♀️

Before you judge me, I’d like to point out that I am VERY good at relationships. I just prefer them one person at a time.

Here’s the deal: I pick a person. Usually it’s a woman, although I reserve the right to surprise everyone. Once I choose you, congratulations! You are now MY PERSON. I will love you, adore you, follow you around, and basically make you the center of my tiny Chihuahua universe.

Everyone else?

✨ Absolutely not. ✨

Did they walk into the room? Suspicious. Did they shift positions on the couch? Rude. Did they have the audacity to make a noise somewhere in MY house?

INTRUDER ALERT. INTRUDER ALERT.

Yes, I will bark. Yes, I may growl. Yes, I am only 10 pounds. No, that information does not affect my confidence whatsoever.

So after two adoption attempts, my foster mom and I have stopped pretending I’m looking for the average family. I’m not. I’m looking for my weirdly specific perfect person.

My dream setup?

A single-person household—a woman would probably be my best match At least one other dog, because I actually do really well living with canine roommates A dog door would be AMAZING

Why the dog door? At my foster home, where I have other dogs and access to a dog door, I’ve done great with potty training. In both adoptive homes, however, I had some pee accidents. My foster mom suspects having other dogs to follow and the freedom to take myself outside makes a big difference for me.

Basically, I need someone who isn’t looking at this bio thinking, “Oh, he’ll get used to my husband, three kids, Grandma, and the neighborhood book club.”

Ma’am. I will not.

I’m not a social butterfly. I’m more of a social barnacle. I would like to attach myself to ONE chosen human and spend the rest of my life being ridiculously devoted to her while maintaining serious concerns about everyone else’s activities.

I’ve been returned twice because the homes weren’t the right fit. So this time, we’re not looking for a home. We’re looking for MY home.

If you’re a woman living alone, already have a dog or two, have a dog door, and have ever thought, “You know what my life is missing? A tiny, emotionally codependent security system,”…

HELLO. I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU. ❤️ Love, Symon

P.S. If you live alone and hear a strange noise at 2 a.m., don’t worry. I heard it first. I have already filed a complaint.